In a world that glorifies the hustle, where productivity is worn like a badge of honor, slowing down can feel like failure. We push forward, fueled by caffeine and ambition, convinced that rest is a luxury we can’t afford. But here’s the truth: If you want to soar, you have to stop for gas.
I learned this lesson the hard way. As an entrepreneur, a mother, and a leader, I used to believe that success meant saying yes to everything—working late, skipping meals, and putting my own well-being at the bottom of the list. But then, my youngest daughter Jillian forced me to listen. For a kid who is non-ambulatory and by most accounts non-verbal, her persistence in telling me to put down the phone, and be present made me realize how important slowing down was and how being present filled my cup. Slowing down doesn’t mean never going full speed—it just means recognizing that rest is a crucial part of sustained momentum. There will always be moments that require your full force, but finding time to pause, refuel, and recharge ensures that when you do push forward, you do it with clarity, strength, and purpose.
It was a wake-up call, one that so many of us receive but often ignore. The reality is, if we want to reach our highest potential—whether in business, leadership, or life—we have to prioritize the things that fuel us: rest, self-care, movement, nourishment, and even moments of stillness. Because when we are not at our best we can’t do our best for others.
Women Are Expected to Do It All—And Look Good Doing It
For women, the pressure to perform is relentless. We’re expected to manage high-stress careers, raise children, run households, volunteer in our communities, be supportive partners, and somehow do it all in heels, with perfect hair and a smile.
But here’s my take—men aren’t the ones expecting us to be flawlessly put together all the time. More often than not, it’s women who put this pressure on other women. We compare, we critique, we set impossible standards for each other, and for what? I’m lucky—my husband doesn’t care if I have makeup on, if my hair is clean, or if my outfit is polished. (Thank goodness!) The only request he’s ever made us to try and get the dirt out from under my fingernails before a business dinner after a day spent in the garden.
The truth is, we need to redefine what “having it all” actually means. It’s not about perfection. It’s about participation. It’s about taking care of ourselves in a way that allows us to show up ready and rested, however that looks and feels for you.
Think of Rest as a Strategy
Arianna Huffington, the founder of Thrive Global, famously collapsed from exhaustion in 2007. That moment led her to rethink the way we define success. “We think, mistakenly, that success is the result of the amount of time we put in at work, instead of the quality of time we put in,” she wrote.
Science backs this up. Research shows that chronic sleep deprivation leads to cognitive impairment, decreased creativity, and poor decision-making—things no entrepreneur, leader, or innovator can afford. Studies from the National Sleep Foundation have repeatedly found that sleep is directly linked to emotional intelligence, problem-solving skills, and resilience. In other words, burnout isn’t a sign of hard work; it’s a sign of unsustainable work.
Self-Care Is an Investment, Not an Indulgence
If we want to show up fully for our teams, our families, and ourselves, we must shift our mindset around self-care. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.
Oprah Winfrey puts it perfectly: “You can’t give what you don’t have. Keep yourself full.”
For me, that fullness comes from my time in the garden. Digging my hands into the soil, breathing in fresh air, and watching something grow is my personal form of meditation. It reminds me that growth—real, sustainable growth—takes time. You can’t force a plant to bloom overnight, just as you can’t thrive on empty. Gardening has become my reminder that rest isn’t just a pause—it’s preparation.
And it doesn’t have to be gardening. Whether it’s movement, journaling, a quiet cup of tea, or simply stepping away from the noise, self-care looks different for everyone. What matters is that we make space for it.
Fuel Your Body Like You Fuel Your Business
We would never put cheap gas in a high-performance car and expect it to run efficiently. So why do we do it to ourselves?
Michelle Obama, an advocate for wellness and balance, reminds us that taking care of ourselves is about longevity: “We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to-do’ list.”
The small daily choices we make—whether it’s choosing greens over processed foods or stepping away from our screens for a breath of fresh air—add up to the energy reserves we need to truly thrive.
Permission to Pause
There is an undeniable pressure to keep pushing, to keep achieving. But here’s what I’ve learned: The most successful people in the world don’t run on empty. They rest. They recharge. They stop for gas.
Brené Brown, a researcher and author, once said, “We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.” That kindness starts with recognizing that we are not machines. We are not meant to run endlessly without care, without sleep, without moments of joy.
So, if you’re feeling exhausted, overworked, or stuck, this is your sign. Stop. Refuel. Rest. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re not just preparing to fly—you’re preparing to soar.
Final Thought
True success isn’t just about how far we go; it’s about how well we sustain the journey. Self-care isn’t a detour—it’s the fuel that gets us where we’re meant to be. And when we embrace that, we don’t just survive the journey. We thrive in it.
So, let’s give ourselves permission to stop for gas—because the road ahead is long, and the garden is waiting.